There was no smoke if there is no fire, saying it is usually a reason they are having an affair. They always blame the ambiguous problems in a marriage.
Though in married life, of course there will always be a problem. Just how the couple handle so that the problem does not make the relationship more in the balance.
When a problem can not be resolved properly, certainly disappointment, anger or even sadness can emerge which then leads to an affair.
What are the problems that can lead to an affair? Psychologist Dr. Fran Cohen Praver who recently wrote the book 'The New Science of Love: How Understanding Your Brain's Wiring Can Help Rekindle Your Relationship' expose on the Huffington Post:
1. Poor communication
Communication is the key to understand each partner. Communication also makes the marriage relationship based on openness. When communication is not in line, love and passion was deteriorating. This line of communication that do not usually pair the message is different from conversation the partner. Example, when you say the phrase 'you is not never bantuin sink'. That phrase could certainly offend the couple's ego. So in order not to upset him, try to say 'baby, I need your help to do the dishes'.
2. a lot of talking, little listening
According to Dr. Fran, though humans have two ears, two eyes and one mouth, we are less likely to be too much to listen to or look at things from the pair of non verbal. Far more you talk to your partner, instead of listening (to the right and without feeling emotionally). So when speaking the words that came out was so painful partner
3. Failed to Empathize
When empathizing, you do not just listen to his words, but also try to put yourself in his position. In this place also try to throw yourself thinking negatively. So when talking to partner, a sentence that did not make it out of anger or sadness. Usually because they are cheating on their partners fail to put themselves or empathize when their partners talk or reveal a problem.
4. Balance of power is not
When one party controls too giving in marriage, this can result in the controlled feel constrained. Usually this is experienced by a woman whose husband is very dominating. The marriage relationship should be based on confidence and willing to listen to opinions of others. But when one party is too powerful or dominant, usually the weaker side will never be heard. This is where an affair happened.
5. change Your partner
You claim to love your spouse as it is, but in fact you sometimes try to change some things from him. According to Dr. Fran, the desire to change the partner to be someone else (usually to be like you) This arises because of fear or anxiety. By having the same person, you will not feel alone, when in fact just the opposite. When a spouse is the one that exactly matches your passion for sharing ideas, thoughts, feelings and purpose in life can be lost.
It is precisely that difference is actually good. Research shows that married partner share a long time and managed to overcome their differences. It is precisely these differences partner with each other to grow and learn together
6. Negative thoughts
It is no secret that negative thoughts can come at any time. Starting from when partner came home late until he suddenly suddenly become romantic. Not a few of you are thinking, 'surely there is nothing'. Explained Dr. Fran, it's a negative thought you could make a couple to do what you think about it.
